Conscious Happiness

If there is one thing I think everyone is guilty of its waiting for the perfect time to have the perfect life.

So many times I have had the same monologue in my head, convincing myself that something will be possible when   (insert possible life scenario here).

For years;

I told myself I had my whole life to eat healthy to justify my poor lifestyle
I wasted years drinking too heavily because I was ‘young’ so I ‘should be’
Telling myself at midnight before an exam that I won’t procrastinate for the next one, only to repeat the cycle
Waiting months for good weather so I could run outside
Expecting a beautiful fancy kitchen to start all of my cooking experiments
This list goes on and on.

I had a friend recently comment on how happy I seem. This comment made me realize that I really AM.

When I made the decision to stop constantly justifying poor health choices for better timing in my future, something changed.

Something in the way I chose to live everyday changed.

The decision to stop justifying not doing one small thing, lead to me quitting justifying doing all things.

I started laughing when Derrick made fun of me, instead of taking it personally
I started waking up earlier to enjoy time with Lilly
I started saying no to even one drink on the weekend
I started taking walks every day snow, rain, or shine
I chose to be kinder to Derrick, even when he drives me crazy
I started checking off all of my important ‘to-do’s I had been putting off
I even mapped out my finances for the next three years so that I can have my student loans paid off and afford a new car

Seriously, the last two are a big deal…as I admitted before, I am a horrible procrastinator.

Honestly I am not sure why this sudden change happened, but I am glad it did. I am glad that there was a trigger, and that I have consciously chosen to live this way over and over again.

I am a firm believer that life is what you make it. If you want to be happy you have to choose to be happy. This isn’t always an easy decision, some days it is exhausting. A big fake smile and a few deep breaths can be the only medicine some days.

So, my secret…

To stop trying to live for a perfect life and live to have a good day.
Living every day in waiting for something you think is to come only robs you blind of the moments passing.

So chose to take a slow walk
No matter how stressed and rushed you are, always turn back for that last embrace
Always say I love you to those who need to know
A sleepy morning is worth the late night giggles
Take in the views you never notice on the drive you do every day
Actually enjoy the taste of things you eat
Plan for a wonderful future but also plan for a fun weekend
Don’t just go through the motions of things, have fun doing them
Stop waiting for you workout to be over and realize how incredible it is that you can even do that
Just breath, a lot. Slowly. Deeply. With a purpose…take in something that is always there but you never even notice
So, stop living to have a perfect life and live to have a good day.


A good future is but a series of days you haven’t lived yet, so why not start now?
Happy Friday

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