Lets talk about the elephant in the room.

We lost our sweet Lilly.

By lost I mean she is in doggy heaven, not living out her days out on a farm, but actually no longer with us.

I can count how many times I have said the actual words “she died” on one hand, including typing it in this sentence. I have hardly come to terms with the fact that she’s gone, let alone processed it.

It’s not a long story, it happened quickly. Going in and out of the house for 3 days straight while packing to move, it wasn’t difficult for to her plot her escape. We kept her blocked upstairs as much as we could, and the sweet girl did nothing but lay patiently waiting to be transported to her new home. The last night, as we finished playing Tetris with our belongings in a far-too-small trailer, it took the door being held open a little too long for her make her way outside.

One of Lilly’s favorite games was tag, and the thousands of times we won in the past couldn’t do anything to stop a speeding truck and a tiny dog in the dead of winter.

I’m sure you can put the pieces together, it happened in a second and was instant. No suffering on her part, but another story entirely for Derrick and I.

Our wonderful friends got us in contact with someone local who was able to cremate her over night so we could bring her with us on our new adventure. That was possibly the longest night of my life, followed by the two longest days hauling our puppy-less lives across the country.

Many sleepless nights, and triple that in weak moments full of tears, led us to start searching for a breeder suitable to get another pup from. Derrick and I just have too much love not to share it with a little fur ball!

While we had opportunities to take other dogs in in the last couple months, we knew shoving a new dog in a Lilly sized hole in our hearts was not the answer. We were so lucky to find (what we deemed…) the best Shorkie breeder out there only a state away. We waited anxiously for the right little one to come to us, and as of this week we are 6 weeks away from bringing her home!

After Lilly, I didn’t think I would ever want another animal ever again. I can’t imagine what its like having children, but having a little thing walking around outside of you with a piece of our heart makes all the good things better, and the bad things even worse.

Every day I doubt my ability to love as fully and unconditionally as I did with Lilly. To have the same patience with an animal that I will constantly compare to our first. To accept the ways in which these two will, undoubtedly, be different, and love the similarities twice over.

My sweet Lilly rode all the way to Oregon in Derricks truck, her favorite place in the world, and it took weeks for me to stop carrying her with me everywhere I went. She now holds a permanent spot in our bedroom, and will forever be the best worst experience I had the opportunity of having. Derrick and I were lucky to get to spend two and a half years with that crazy girl, I hope our next gets to live a long healthy life in our arms.


That little poof has no idea how happy she made me in her short life, rest for eternity in puppy paradise my sweet girl.


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